20SB vlog day

this video post is part of 20SB’s vlog day, and the topic is “introduce yourself”…anyone can participate! details are here.



don't you just love my awkward face? yea, me, too ;)

oh! i almost forgot...

the adorably sweet carissa from kissed a frog (and on twitter) thinks i'm full of sunshine :D i didn't have the heart to tell her she had the wrong s-word ;) (ps i mean shit) thanks, carissa!

the rules:

1. thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them

2. tell us something about yourself

3. nominate 10 other bloggers and

4. let them know that you awarded them!

so i'm gonna cheat a little bit... pretend like the above video fulfills #2 ;)

my nominations (some new and some old faves):

ria @ & that's the way life goes
erini @ adorkable me
ash @ breathing through chaos
emily @ emily jane
jenn @ bottle the crazy
heather @ heather-n-company
mandy @ knowing the difference
lauryn @ laureality
amy @ life's journey with a smile
stephany @ stephany writes

ah! i hate picking only 10. i love all you lovely, bloggers! don't forget to check out my other loves [a work in progress]

year condensed

i hadn't intended to do a reflective post on 2010, but then i scrolled through my photos again (yea... i reread my own posts a thousand times). it occurred to me that i had a pretty adventurous year. and i HATE adventure... says the girl who's planning a summer road trip with her bestie... i'm not in the mood to hunt down all the applicable blog posts (if i even wrote them), but here's a quick recap of 2010. in the order i remember them

- i met and fell in love with an awesome guy

- i walked in the susan komen 3day for the cure

- i helped gather postcards in support of marriage equality for maryland

- i hung out with the DC bloggers a few times

- i got drunk under the table by the tweeting lesbians

- i attended a pocket gays happy hour and met new people by myself, without knowing a single person (online or offline) beforehand

- i went to the DC NOH8 shoot

- i got a tattoo

- i worked the gate at baltimore pride, and THE pandora boxx smiled at me. then she and juju tweeted me, and i DIED

- i bought and carved my very first pumpkin

damn! that was a good year. running theme: booze and gays, sometimes at the same time :) oh, yea. and volunteering and my darling boy and a random pumpkin. but mostly boozey gays

dear 2011,
the stakes have been raised

:)

if you hadn't noticed...

changes are coming :)

put on your drinkin pants

they're at it again :)

i got stabbed

by itty bitty needles many many times :)

if you'll recall, i wanted to get a tattoo for my 26th birthday. due to scheduling, i had to wait until yesterday morning to get inked. but god was it worth the wait. my artist, deirdre, was fantastic; the rest of the staff were also super awesome. InSlut was visiting for a dentistry issue, and was able to come with me to the appointment. i'm so glad he was my plus one. and they were all over him for drawing my art; it was too cute [sidebar: he might get a freelance art job because of it]

the setup process took a bit: tracing the graphic onto special paper, resizing it and transferring it onto stencil paper. but the actual tattooing seemed to go pretty quickly (even though i think it was like an hour and a half). and it was not as horrible as i was anticipating. i was pretty much over my needle nerves by the time i made the appointment, but that doesn't mean i wasn't still cautious about the pain factor. oh. my. god. it was nothing after the first few minutes. deirdre warned me that the first 10 are the worst, but then your endorphins kick in to ease the pain. i did feel it, but the discomfort level ebbed and flowed depending on what she was doing where. the line work definitely hurt more than the shading; it hurt more lower on my leg and moving towards the back of my leg. but overall, it wasn't too bad. i actually almost fell asleep a couple times lol. pre-tattoo, i said i was still hesitant about getting additional work. after-tattoo, i cant wait to go back. i wont lie, the awesome staff is definitely part of the appeal. i'm so glad i went there because they made the whole experience that much better. if anyone is in the annapolis area and wants a tattoo (or piercing), i highly recommend body mod. you won't regret checking them out [website; facebook fan page]

now for what you've all been waiting for...

that's from this morning :) it's still a little red (and has that weird bandaidy look), but you cant really tell in this photo

other photos...

my right to bone

so i randomly decided to parcitipate in women's writes, hosted by ms. shine and ms. marie. i'm only a little behind schedule ;)...

after a twitter chat with ms. shine, i decided to focus on birth control. unfortunately, i got sidetracked by a birthday, unpacking and work. instead of dispelling myths about birth control (seriously some of the stuff i've heard is incredibly ridiculous... you know, if you believe in science). i'll share a link, and then get on with the rest of my post :)

there's an interesting article on livestrong.com on different "methods" of birth control. honestly, i laugh when i read some of the things people have done to avoid getting pregnant. if you didn't want to get pregnant, you should've done your homework. too lazy to do your homework? we're gonna buy you a chastity belt. don't know where to get information? google (hello! you're already on the internet) or your doctor. don't have a doctor you feel comfortable talking to? find a new doctor and talk to him or her. some women don't buy condoms. some women don't have regular birth control. some women don't see a gynecologist. i say to them: get with it or close your legs. i know i'm being incredibly judgemental, but as a sexually active person, i think it's important for people to have all the facts before crossing that line. other links on contraception (what's true and what's not) from about.com and webmd

/preaching. on to the fun stuff... getting laid

ladies, we need to talk about it. we don't have to be vulgar and graphic, but we should feel comfortable expressing our own needs and wants. we should feel comfortable asking questions. we should feel comfortable in our own bodies... i saw my girls back in january, and the conversation inevitably got to doing the deed. three of us are non-virgins and our fourth is ready to not be. in classic fashion, we grilled her about her boyfriend, how things are going, her emotional gauge and what stuff they'd done so far. she, also classic, was semi-dodging the sex questions. "if you can't talk to us, who are you going to talk to?" *insert crazy nervous laughter* why are we so hesitant?

i have never been shy about sex and sexuality. i was curious as a child (and now), which led to my scarring byfirst glimpses of childbirth. in 5th grade family life, i was one of the girls giggling about wet dreams when everyone else was listening to how babies are given to two loving catholic parents. penises were gross and fascinating. i've had cyber sex and phone sex with strangers and boyfriends. i've had one night stands and friends with benefits. i like trying new positions, but i always come back to missionary. i love my red vibrator with the little butterfly, as much as, i love spending the afternoon in bed with my boy. i have had sex without condoms (before the pill* and on the pill), but i always keep my own stash. i see my gynecologist and get STD testing on a regular basis... none of this information is hard to share; i love talking about sex. but i feel like an anomaly

to me, sex is very personal. every individual can and should decide when to have sex and who to have it with. however, we should also be allowed to be open about what we're thinking and feeling. there is misinformation everywhere (hear the one about sperm swimming faster in a hot tub?). if i could, i would give a pamphlet to every single person on the planet providing basic information to counteract some of the idiocy. as a person, you should consider, for yourself, your opinions on all aspects of sex. as a sexual person (active or not), it's your responsibility to protect yourself and your partner. as a woman, you should be aware of your own body: what it needs, how it functions, how to keep it healthy. it's our right to have proper health care (including mental and reproductive health) throughout all stages of life. it's our right to get proper information about what has been scientifically evidenced to aid or prevent pregnancy and the spread of STDs. it's our right to make decisions about all things related to our bodies (augmentation, pregnancy, labor, etc.). in my opinion, the first step is being vocal

so let's talk

*not my proudest moment, but it happened. i made him pull out, and i had my first and only trip to a clinic for the morning after pill. which is actually four pills taken over a 12 hour period...

wanna visit me?

the correct answer to that question is yes :)

this year, i'll be hosting at least three fabulous visits. 1) InSlut came down at the beginning of spring break 2) HB is coming to town for a few days in april and 3) my girls will be in town for our quarterly awesomeness later in the year. i'm all about being a good hostess so i'm always searching fun things to do around town

for InSlut's trip, i kept it simple. there may be a ton to do between baltimore, annapolis and dc (i love living in this area), but i want to pace myself. while the girls and i enjoyed a whirlwind visit last year, we didn't have a chance to do everything on my checklist. additionally, he has a few personal constraints that make certain activities less ideal. as such, i figured we'd have a lazy day one day and visit two of my top three places (papermoon diner and the american visionary art museum) the next day. rounding out the top three is the aquarium, but i wasn't in the mood to wade through a sea of children to see the sharks. i'll save that for another time :) since InSlut is an artist, i was a bit hesitant that he wouldn't enjoy the eclectic aesthetic of papermoon and the visionary. he, however, enjoyed both immensely. he was critical of some of the works at the visionary ("i could probably get my stuff in here"), but we were both falling over ourselves when we reached the final exhibit. if you're following me on twitter, you may vaguely recall my gushing over this a bit

the exhibit contains a few select pieces from the collection of eugene von bruenchenhein's paintings. you can view the nearly complete online collection here. unfortunately, the online database does not capture how truly amazing von bruenchenhein was. i was blown away by the colors used in his works. even 50 years later, the paintings are so vibrant, the paint as vivid as they day he painted. J loved his technique, how von bruenchenhein used various household objects to create varying textures in each image. the paintings leap at you; every angle reveals something new and intriguing. we (mostly) joked about having a couple pieces translated into tattoos. if my boy gets a sleeve*, i already know what it will look like :) our only disappointment is the newness of the exhibit. because it was only a little over a week old at the time, the sideshow (visionary gift shop) didn't yet have any corresponding take home items. i've got my fingers crossed for postcards in the coming months. the exhibit will run until march of next year, and you can bet your sweet tushie that i am taking HB to see it next month :) 

*sleeve: tattoo that covers the arm from shoulder to wrist
[cross posted/edited]

they'll make you paper mache

have i mentioned that i want a tattoo? well i do :) i love body art and have always been a little jealous of people who have any. unfortunately, i have an intense fear of needles, which doesn't lend itself much to navel piercings and mom tattoos. so i've held off for years on doing anything, easily coming up with excuses for myself ("when im thinner" "when im 21" "when i graduate"). well the waiting stops now... or on my birthday really... 2010 is the year of doing. i finally know what i want done and where i want it. basically, it's a graphic representation of my theme song: make yourself by incubus. it embodies everything that i strive to be as a person. it'll live on my inner ankle (most likely left ankle). i told Mr. InSlut about the tat, hinting (not so subtlety) that i wanted him to draw it, and he gave me this :D

 

i LOVE it. the face is my most favorite... this, as it is, will not be the tat. there are a couple of things i want to change, but i am so happy with how this actually turned out. i wasn't sure i'd be able to accurately describe how i pictured it in my head, but he nailed it. i get so excited every time i look at it so im putting it on my wall :)

this wasn't really my valentine's day gift, but it's one of the best things i've ever gotten. april 3rd, 2010 is the day i make it permanent

everyone loves a quickie

today's accomplishment: conquering my google reader. after catching up on everyone else, i finally have time to update you on my goings on. well... there ain't much so this won't take long :)

- work: we got notified today that annual bonuses are back on. the company made enough money so they can reward us for making them enough money. woohoo! since i got a title change and a raise last year, my bonus will be pretty decent. too bad a huge chunk will go to uncle sam (super boo). on a downer, my project is on its own little rollercoaster. one day we're chugging along, and then we take a quick dip to finance's issues. while they're thinking of a way to tell us no, we discuss the issue with another department. time for an "oh we handle all of that crap for everyone" loopdeloop. find out that our department will not gain financially from this venture because the equipment now belongs to a different group. ooooh was that a full stop? is the ride over? of course not. we still need to deal with the process. oh look! another dip. turns out corporate has been working to streamline their process with our legacy group's process for the last year. now i have to figure out how to tell my boss that once again this project may not belong to us. i'm gonna do that monday. for now, im getting off the ride

- school: classes started tuesday. biological basis is reading intensive, but there's only exams and 1 short paper (woot). statistics will be mostly a refresher so i'm less worried about it. both my professors seem cool, which is good, and everyone's been super nice. i officially like university of baltimore... i like them so much, i applied to join their group blog. i think it'd be fun, but it's just one more thing i'm trying to add to my crowded plate. what's wrong with me?

- apartment: pants and i are moving. i'm so excited about getting out of glen burnie and that mouse house. we've looked at a bunch of places, and ive narrowed the list to two. theyre about the same cost, roughly the same size and have several features we wanted. pants is going to see the 2nd place this weekend (he had to miss our scheduled visit). i hope he likes it because it's only 10min* from my office. and the company that bought his company has an office that's about 15min* away from this place (his current office is 10min* from our place in GB). if he doesn't like it, i will be sad, but the 2nd place is also good. it's between two major highways (i love that MD is all highways) that'll get us to work in no time :) technically, we put a hold on the 2nd place as a backup, but i'm really hoping pants likes the 1st place and their availability opens up

- le boy: things are going fabulously :D i'm visiting in a few weeks to go see jimmie's chicken shack. plus im using guiltmy feminine charms to get him to visit me. if you don't know what charms i'm using, you need to follow me on twitter ;) boy still needs an appropriate nickname. right now the front runner is "Mr. InSlut"** (oh yea, i would actually capitalize that), partially because i'm a terrible person who treats him like a prostitute. buy a boy burgers and garlic fries, and he'll do anything you want... the only reason this fun doesn't have a label is because i'm holding back. i might have to face facts that he's my not-boyfriend [if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck... but you refuse to acknowledge that you are staring at a fucking duck, it's a not-boyfriend]. even admitting that won't make it true in my head :p

- this weekend: GIRLS WEEKEND! i'm so excited. i'm hanging out with my college besties - JP, H(HF) & E(H). we've made it a point to get together at least once every season. H got first because she and S just bought a house and got a dog. i've got my fingers crossed that we'll see each other a little more often since we're now in a 4hour span instead of 12hour might have to fly instead of drive span. thank you I95 (can't believe i'm admitting that highway is making my life better). as usual, there will be lots of talking, eating, talking, sight seeing, talking and talking :) i can't freaking wait. as soon as i post this, im shutting down my computer, heading home for a quick dinner and then getting on the road. BEST WEEKEND EVER

so that's pretty much what's going on... turns out there's more than i thought :p

*without traffic
**thanks ashley! (the other me in my gmail lol)

thoughts from the shower

so i had a pretty productive wednesday (esp considering i've had 3 really unproductive weeks). i managed to get some work done and get caught up on my blogs :)

i also did some thinking in the shower... it always seems i have my most important thoughts while in the shower or as im falling asleep. so naturally, i was thinking about le boy, and i've come to some conclusions...

1. i absolutely don't want a serious relationship right now. i've got classes starting at the end of january, which MUST be priority #1. also, i really can't deal with a serious commitment to a guy living two hours away. it would drive me batshitcrazy

2. he's really nice, we have similar viewpoints and he makes me giggle. however, i don't see myself ever getting serious about him. though, on the bright side, the negativity does not pervade; whatever issues he's had (has?) seem to be resolved (slash aren't as bad as i was thinking). no fixing for me :D

3. i would not be opposed to getting a little every now and then though. after all, girl's got needs

we'll see how this stance holds after this weekend... uh yea... going to visit the crush tomorrow lol. i'm excited cause i do like hanging out with new people (every now and again), but part of me is worried that i've built this weekend up too much. i already know that he has too so it'll be interesting. regardless of what happens, i'll be starting my year off with an adventure :)

3 days of best things...

more from gwen bell's best of 2009 challenge...


best change to the place you live: the place i live

i moved about 10 min from my old place (1b/1ba, $1040/mo) to a small townhouse (3b/2.5ba, $1455/mo). as much as i loved living alone, the rent was too much to handle. i oscillate on a regular basis between liking and hating the new place. the only constant is the extra cash i have each month makes me happy... for about 6.2 seconds because there's always a bill to pay :p

best rush: king's dominion in july with the girls

that's the dominator (view from the eiffel tower); it was awesome! we left with headaches, but the day was super fun

best tea: chai latte

i love tea. i have cinnamon apple spice herbal tea at the office, which is yummy. i like darjeeling, english breakfast and earl grey. but black chai + milk + 2 packets of splenda = a very happy michelle. throw in a book, and i've got saturday afternoon covered :)

now it's your turn. what are some of your bests?

catching up

time to get back to  gwen bell's best of 2009 challenge :)

best night out: every single one

every night out has been fun for it's own reasons. cathing up with JP over delicious sushi. watching AF & JO's fireworks display on july 4th. dinners with N & JL. wandering around downtown baltimore with EM & MM... any night with my friends is going to be awesome :)

best moment of peace: the poconos with P (the ex)

best challenge: the loyola experience

i was pushed to my patience and self doubt limits, and managed to bounce back. thanks to my awesome friends and family for reminding me that i am not an idiot. i will finish this degree, no matter how long it takes me

best album: pomplamoose videosongs

if you don't know pomplamoose, you seriously need to go to their youtube page. they are so talented

best place: my bed

it's super comfy and cute. i didn't like it at first (the bed i really wanted was discontinued), but it grew on me.... and now it's calling my name :)

good night, bloggy friends

days 1 & 2

best trip: M & A's wedding in georgia

i went as N's plus one to the wedding of people i'd never met :) the drive was great. the island was adorable. the wedding was beautiful and intimate. A's friends and family are crazy awesome. we had breakfast with M & A every morning and went walking around town a couple times. we got much needed massages. plus we're the same person so it wasn't annoying when we took a break to do some work lol... plus i managed to drink A LOT and still dropped 1.6 lbs that week

best restaurant experience: my 25th birthday at Houlihan's

i decided that i was not going to let this birthday slip by unannounced. 25 is a big deal, and i was going to kick it's ass. so i organized a birthday dinner with my closest in town friends (if only HB couldve come too) for the night of my birth, which conveniently fell on a friday this year. the service was crap (damn that automatic gratuity), but the food was still delicious. plus my dinner was free because im on houlihan's mailing list. even with our sour server, that night was awesome. i love my friends

turkey recap

before i get into the details, i'll tell you the moral first: N & i are fucking AWESOME, and this weekend was exhausting. though everything went a hell of a lot smoother than i expected...

we went out with the A's for beers, burgers and polka. i was roped into dancing by scary jesus (eek). there's photographic evidence, but i'll be damned if i share that with you little blog :p G is still cute as ever (and totally her mother's daughter ha!); we had fun catching up and whatnot. N & i got home around 11/1130 and cooked until 3am. i successfully made mac n cheese (from scratch) and stuffing (from box). N managed to chop, boil and mix a ton of stuff in preparation...

thursday (dun dun dun....), we got up around 1030/11 to continue. i got the chocolate melted, graham crackers crushed and the two combined in no time. making the damn shells took for fucking ever. popped them in the freezer and took a break. N was cooking and mixing for ever and a day; we "watched" youtube to keep from freaking out. i filled the shells and put them in the oven with the turkey. new strategy: bake on bottom rack (no choice) for 20 min instead of middle for 45. i had N pull them so they could cool while i assessed. some were "done"; others were still goopy. phase 2 of plan: after cooling (let them cook a little more in the middles), pop them in the toaster oven to finish. i peeled the eggs (N made deviled eggs), then took a much needed nap. N was, naturally, frantic when i came back down. after running in circles for 20, he finally took a break. i took over the carrot stirring, turkey watching and broccoli making so he could shower and decompress. this of course meant that i was still in my pjs when everyone arrived lol... i got the mini pies done (new plan was a success), we got the food in serving bowls and the rolls got baked while i was in the shower. guest list ended up being: my siblings, N's parents and M (she abandoned B & G at her aunt's lol). we were insane people, but we got so many compliments. everyone loved everything :D and we made them take home leftovers hahah. awesome 1st thanksgiving at our place (although, im not sure i want a 2nd lol)

post dinner clean up was minimal. we mostly stacked everything on the breakfast bar/stove. because we forced so many leftovers on people, we got everything into 3 containers. our fridge looks awesome, considering our previous parties... dishes are another story. i did a few, but N did the bulk. it took him 3 days to finish (starting friday)... i shooed him to bed about 10 min before J arrived for black friday shopping. oh yes, it was happening this year...

at midnight, we headed to the mills. because of nonsense at victoria's secret*, i stood in line for over an hour. J had time to pay (in a different line) and get starbucks. we both got done at the same time so my coffee wasnt cold. then we kinda wandered. she got shoes and jewelry. S ended up at the mills with her bestie and one of her roomies. she needed a ride home so of course my phone decided to die. so at 3am, in the middle of the mall, im fighting J's droid to look up the number on verizon. yes, J got a droid (it was 2 days old lol). yes, i totally used the internet on a cellphone to pull up an old bill and locate my sister's number. yes, i'm lame for not knowing my family's numbers by heart. i called S and 5 minutes later ran into her (almost literally). oh my life is ridiculous. J and i wandered for a little bit longer, realized we'd made a loop and headed back towards tjmaxx to grab the girl. oh S and her crazy friends... i wish i could explain to you my goofy sister, but you just have to know her lol... K & C took off (haven't seen C since she was itty bitty. weird!) so M and the boys left too. as we headed to J's car, L called. she was getting mcdonald's on her way to my place for shopping round 2. unfortunately, before 4am mcdonald's doesn't serve full breakfast. there was one across the parking lot, and it was 358 when we got in line. i got a sausage biscuit and J's hashbrown (and sass from S). glorious :D

we got back to my place about 10 min before L arrived. N was still feeling sick (his tummy hates him) so he bailed on best buy and target. S napped/watched sex and the city, while we ventured out. L and i got done pretty quickly at best buy (we cheated thanks to cameras lol) so wandered/mocked other customers. J got a ton of dvds and wii accessories. we couldnt talk her into buying a 3rd ipod (and jumping to a different, shorter line), but it wasnt the worst wait. we cut down her dvd pile as we went. quick trip to the car, then we popped over to target. the real crazies were at target :) teenager riding in a cart ("you're the bestest friend i ever had" to the kid pushing her); woman pushing two carts hooked together; and old lady making a woman cry because she was blocking the aisle. i reached my "god im fucking tired" point somewhere around 6am because my profanity per sentence increased greatly. at one point, i got distracted by movies with L, and J kept walking with her giant cart full of more dvds (i think she has a problem lol). i didnt see her cut through a break in the line (there was a line at electronics), so i just started laughing... "how the fuck did you do that? are you fucking magic?!"... good thing there weren't (m)any small children around. im horrible. we got in the quick moving checkout line (woot) and had a great conversation with the cashier. back to the house to get ready for...

round 3: annapolis mall. me and J. N was still out of commission; we dropped S off at home; and L had to meet her parents. running on i dont even know what, we hit express, nordstrom's, coach and sephora. i ended up with a gorgeous trench and sweater from express. J had a whole pile of stuff, as usual :) we finally got back to my place around 1130. nearly 12 hours of shopping did me in. J headed home, and i took a nap. i ended the day/crazy/night with the say yes to the dress marathon.

the rest of the weekend was pretty low key. went out to watch the tech/uva game (go hokies) with L. got CZ to come hang and she brought her brother. then N (who finally felt better) and i got to hang out with AG [lol im gonna have to start using double initials cause i have too many friends]. sunday, i slept til 2 in the afternoon, vegged on the couch, watched SNF (go ravens) and putzed around online. it was a great end to the holiday weekend... i'll put some pictures up later tonight :)

how were your thanksgivings?


*idiots (high schoolers) thought it would be funny to hold us up by slowly weaving through the lines (and rest of the store). they were all dressed up (banana, douchebag hipster, etc) and one kid was playing a keyboard. i couldve punched someone in the face at that point

three blind mice

this week is putting me over the edge...

1. it won't stop raining, and people are complete fucktards about driving in it. people slamming on their breaks and swerving because the only car in front of them (which is a 1/2 mile away) started to slow down. people ahead of me in the fast line going 10 mph below the speed limit and the assholes behind tailgating. people not stopping at red lights because they're apparently above the law

2. thanksgiving is officially my least favorite holiday. i stayed up last night to make the mini pumpkin pies, and burned the crusts. i was up until 4 fucking am, and i still have to make side dishes. if i can get the mac n cheese and stuffing cooked tonight, they'll only need to be reheated tomorrow, and i can focus on the 2nd batch of pies in the morning. otherwise, i may blow a gasket

3. we have mice. i officially hate our place. i was willing to put up with the old semifunctional appliances, the worn carpet on which ive slipped more than once coming down the stairs and the crazy neighbors. i will not put up with rodents. i pride myself on the cleanliness of my home, and now we have fucking mice the day before thanksgiving. W T F

the only things keeping me from eating people...

1.my google reader is full of new posts/tweets from around the interwebs. reading about other people's crazy and/or awesome happenings keep me from dwelling on the unpleasant shit piling up around me

2. seeing old friends is fantastic. i went out to dinner with alumni members (plus a current senior) of our GSA and the group's advisor. we talked about the usual stuff: recent breakups, engagements, g & d's commitment ceremony, job hunting... great food + great conversation = fab. tonight, im hanging out with m for the first time in 2 years. she and her little family moved to myrtle beach early 07. of course there's tomorrow's festivities with the children [my siblings], n's parents, g and her boy. j, l, n and i are going out black friday. it sounds like we're starting at the mall at midnight (eek). im seeing starbucks and mcdonald's sausage mcmuffins in my future. i also need to fit in time with cz; must remember to call her... busy busy busy

3. the promise of a nap tomorrow. i am so beyond tired (see above nonsense). if i can get some foods out of the way tonight, i can sleep most of the day... this plan, of course, will probably get screwed. but im getting a nap at some point if i have to kill a man in the proccess!

ugh... im starting to feel less scattered, but it's just a brief calm before the next storm :( in case i collapse into a twitching pile of hostility beforehand...

fabulous weekend...

and an interesting turn of events...

jp came to visit for the weekend, which was awesome. n and i made drinks on fri (because his ex was being a nutter), and jp arrived just in time for a martini. then she and i stayed up talking cause that's what we do :) sat, was spent mostly watching HGTV. [have i mentioned yet that im obsessed with all things relating to home improvements/renovations?] we managed to peel ourselves off the couch to do some shopping (at one of my favorite stores) and get sushi (at kyodai in towson). the day was rounded out by mario kart and so you think you can dance. sun, i took jp to my favorite baltimore dinner (papermoon). anyone who comes to visit will be taken there. consider this your warning :)

after that, jp had to roll out so i spent the afternoon with my mom. DST had their annual jabberwock pagaent. it was my first debutante event, and i greatly enjoyed attending. im not really debutante material, but part of me wishes i'd gotten that sort of showcase when i was in high school... i spent the rest of the afternoon, watching football at the parents' (if by watching, i mean fell asleep because i was exhausted lol). when i got home, n was parked on the couch cleaning out the dvr :p i saw the end of grey's (it's nice to see izzy found her backbone, and bailey/kristina havent lost theirs). then we watched glee :D, the new desparate housewives and last week's project runway... [lol n we should start hosting gay night at n & m's to watch all these with cosmos and commentary]

before i went to bed, i checked my cell for messages... i dont pay much attention since the people who have my number keep in touch in a jillion other ways... i had a new txt from the ex

"i apologize for being irritable and ruining something with a great girl and i just wanted to tell u that"

it's been a month since he left. i accepted the situation, and decided to move forward. i dont know how he's been, but i worried. i think now, he's acknowledging what happened and moving on himself. i responded this morning

"apology accepted"

"thanks...dont worry im not expecting forgiveness or anything or for u to talk to me...just hope that ur happy"

"even w what happened between us, i continue to want the same for you. just remember that you have been loved and, therefore, can be loved again. goodbye"

i dont know why but i think i needed that. the last step, the last word, a final moment with the person i loved... a small part of me still wishes it hadnt played out this way... but the rest of me thinks it was inevitable. looking back on a relationship is difficult, but necessary. i will remember the highs and lows forever. they were there, and they all need to be acknowledged for what they were. at least this way, our parting wont be completely tainted with malice..

my soundtrack?

eh. not so much... n & i are wasting time sending each other various youtube videos. he's latching on to kate nash because she so accurately describes his feelings about his recent break up. she reminds me of lily allen (sassy brits :)). plus we were watching sped up versions of so you think you can dance (awesome), which got roisin murphy's ruby blue stuck in my head again lol. so i went off to hunt her videos down... which led me back to lily allen. apparently, they have the same record label. so then i was watching videos of all the artists on parlophone records. one artist (eliza doolittle) covered whitney houston, and it was totally adorable. sent it to n, and he sent me pomplamoose :D i love pomplamoose! so, of course, now im watching ALL of their videos for the millionth time. if you don't know them, you MUST check them out: PomplamooseMusic (youtube) & Pomplamoose (website) because they are just fabulous. i got hooked on them after seeing their cover of single ladies on $2000 Budget Wedding. if you've got time to waste... psh please we all know you are only here because you're wasting time... check out their covers and originals. hail mary and expiration date are probably my favorite videos

lol all this to tell you that i love music and youtube... i think i originally had another point, but it's obviously misplaced. if i find it, i'll let you know. ta ta for now, internets