my head is still spinning, but today was WAY better than expected. there are still a few emails to send and docs to review, which i'm working through while talking to jesse (and writing this quickie post)
- chiro says i'm looking good. will probably discharge on friday as scheduled. woot! plus i still have a ridiculous credit (if i were going to have more visits this year) so all the visits are "free"
- work situation is in a holding pattern, but task in question may be removed from our plate. i sure as hell hope it is. it would be a cumbersome undertaking, which i'm still adamant shouldn't be ours to manage
- i'm going to be taking on a new task at my internship. very exciting :) new intakes and new reports to learn. plus there's the boost in my hours, which will be a HUGE help. not super nervous about being short hours, but it's always good to have a cushion just in case
- found a new counseling practice to try through my insurance. [thanks, corporate, for finally making it clear where to go for that info] gonna call to see if they're accepting new clients. i really want to get counseling again despite the issues with my last therapist
- i should not have bought this bag of musketeers. they are my favorite, and i've already eaten far too many of them. good thing i only indulge once a year ;)
Showing posts with label attitude adjustment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attitude adjustment. Show all posts
October 11, 2012
March 23, 2012
bitch is back?
so i've had this box open pretty much all day. got distracted by work stuff. got distracted by non-work nonsense. slacked off because the system i need went down. remembered i wanted to write a post... then went back to slacking. i don't know where my words are. i don't know where my time goes. i've been so neglectful of this blog for awhile. which, in a way, is neglectful of myself. this is where i sort through some of my shit, share my triumphs and get support through my struggles. i talk about wanting to blog more, but i don't. i talk about wanting to read more, throw parties regularly and enjoy being in my late 20s. am i? no, no and not really. writing this post is like pulling teeth from a hungry polar bear. there's so much i want to say, but it's hard to actually get it all out. everything and nothing has been happening since my last post
the condensed version: my boss is awesome. my internship is frustrating, not because of clients. friends and family are good. i need to fire my therapist. i'm coasting through class, but doing quite well. signing a lease for another year with pants. struggling with losing weight while enjoying all the carbs... i think that covers everything
then i got an email that reminded me i opened this box five hours ago. i know i don't have much to say, but it needed to be said somehow. i'm kinda excited about what's coming my way (you'll find out soon enough ;)), and it's something that could seriously help motivate my jiggly ass. for now, i'm going to work on rededicating to myself across the board. i will not start 28 on a downer. that's for damn sure
[ps only 10d 22h (to the minute) until i'm 28. ready or not]
the condensed version: my boss is awesome. my internship is frustrating, not because of clients. friends and family are good. i need to fire my therapist. i'm coasting through class, but doing quite well. signing a lease for another year with pants. struggling with losing weight while enjoying all the carbs... i think that covers everything
then i got an email that reminded me i opened this box five hours ago. i know i don't have much to say, but it needed to be said somehow. i'm kinda excited about what's coming my way (you'll find out soon enough ;)), and it's something that could seriously help motivate my jiggly ass. for now, i'm going to work on rededicating to myself across the board. i will not start 28 on a downer. that's for damn sure
Besides, the perfect time never arrives. You’re always too young or old or busy or broke or something else. If you constantly fret about timing things perfectly, they’ll never happen.rework, jason fried
[ps only 10d 22h (to the minute) until i'm 28. ready or not]
find more of me:
attitude adjustment
December 19, 2011
we heart mondays 12
semester is over. cookies have been exchanged. gifts have been mailed. my sister has graduated. all that's left are sending my cards and watching ALL THE MOVIES
oh and this week of work :p
oh and this week of work :p
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| because i love love actually (via) |
find more of me:
attitude adjustment,
weheartit
December 7, 2011
choices
i have a tummyache... because i am five and whiny and stressed out and wanting my mom to just make it better and close to tears and STRESSED THE FUCK OUT... and i've had it since saturday. not like round the clock, but for a few hours at various points each day, it just aches
i chose to call my mom. she didn't answer. so i had an afternoon snack. my usual "oh my god someone call intervention because i can't stop spooning peanut butter in my face!" snack. i didn't want it. i called my mom again because i knew, right then, i was having a moment. she tried to talk me down, tell me to breath, reinforce how well i'm doing, encourage me, etc. in a 10 minute conversation. she has a job, too. people there need her or some shit. she asked if we needed to meet though. i declined. i think i mostly need a nap
wrong. i need a moment to have my moment. that nap is not a nap. it's the end of the stress spiral in which i am incapacitated by ALL THE THINGS. i am choosing not to let that happen. i know that i will be practically catatonic for the next few days should i choose otherwise. i do not have time for that, and it would only bring me back to the beginning of the spiral
instead, i have chosen to take this afternoon off. i am packing my books back up so they can't taunt me. i am clearing my desk of the work tasks i can do tomorrow. i'm not procrastinating to avoid; i'm taking a mental break from this insanity i created. i confirmed my missing grades so i know i have As in both classes. i am choosing to relax knowing it will be ok
i chose to skim blog posts from november. i am now choosing to mark the rest as read. i am choosing to ignore the last two days worth of tweets. i have an hour left at the office, and i am going to spend it doing puzzles online... this all sounds like procrastination. however, the difference is that i have actively decided to give myself a break rather than hiding in the internets from the big bad to do list i created. i need to reclaim my mental space before hormones and stress and whatever else lurks in my system pull me into the darkness
my tummy feels better now...
i chose to call my mom. she didn't answer. so i had an afternoon snack. my usual "oh my god someone call intervention because i can't stop spooning peanut butter in my face!" snack. i didn't want it. i called my mom again because i knew, right then, i was having a moment. she tried to talk me down, tell me to breath, reinforce how well i'm doing, encourage me, etc. in a 10 minute conversation. she has a job, too. people there need her or some shit. she asked if we needed to meet though. i declined. i think i mostly need a nap
wrong. i need a moment to have my moment. that nap is not a nap. it's the end of the stress spiral in which i am incapacitated by ALL THE THINGS. i am choosing not to let that happen. i know that i will be practically catatonic for the next few days should i choose otherwise. i do not have time for that, and it would only bring me back to the beginning of the spiral
instead, i have chosen to take this afternoon off. i am packing my books back up so they can't taunt me. i am clearing my desk of the work tasks i can do tomorrow. i'm not procrastinating to avoid; i'm taking a mental break from this insanity i created. i confirmed my missing grades so i know i have As in both classes. i am choosing to relax knowing it will be ok
i chose to skim blog posts from november. i am now choosing to mark the rest as read. i am choosing to ignore the last two days worth of tweets. i have an hour left at the office, and i am going to spend it doing puzzles online... this all sounds like procrastination. however, the difference is that i have actively decided to give myself a break rather than hiding in the internets from the big bad to do list i created. i need to reclaim my mental space before hormones and stress and whatever else lurks in my system pull me into the darkness
my tummy feels better now...
find more of me:
attitude adjustment,
gradschool
December 5, 2011
we heart mondays 11
the good news: i am on my way to getting my new 4 wheeled baby, a 2012 highlander hybrid. closed out my smartypig goal today :D
the bad news: 1) i was denied the full amount of the loan i wanted. i've never been given an amount of that size (no shit. this is my first adult purchase, people), and my credit union thinks i have too much debt (fucking student loans, which aren't even due yet). so the loan officer offered to give me less than half of what i originally asked for. technically, my ask was 10k over what i really need, but they weren't willing to meet me in the middle *sigh* 2) i want the standard model, which is only built in japan. japan still hasn't fully recovered from the earthquake so highlander hybrids are only available for special order. this means i won't be behind the wheel of a sweet new suv for six to nine MONTHS 3) the back and forth of this shiz is making my head spin and my tummy ache. doesn't help that i'm pmsing so nearly everything is THE END OF THE WORLD
i decided i don't care how long it takes to build and ship. i want my hybrid. i'm going to talk to my guy on thursday about deposits, estimated totals and my actual order. since i only have to put down a deposit, i have six to nine months to clear some debt (i'm looking at you credit cards) and research other financing. i'm not letting anything deter me from what i want
the bad news: 1) i was denied the full amount of the loan i wanted. i've never been given an amount of that size (no shit. this is my first adult purchase, people), and my credit union thinks i have too much debt (fucking student loans, which aren't even due yet). so the loan officer offered to give me less than half of what i originally asked for. technically, my ask was 10k over what i really need, but they weren't willing to meet me in the middle *sigh* 2) i want the standard model, which is only built in japan. japan still hasn't fully recovered from the earthquake so highlander hybrids are only available for special order. this means i won't be behind the wheel of a sweet new suv for six to nine MONTHS 3) the back and forth of this shiz is making my head spin and my tummy ache. doesn't help that i'm pmsing so nearly everything is THE END OF THE WORLD
i decided i don't care how long it takes to build and ship. i want my hybrid. i'm going to talk to my guy on thursday about deposits, estimated totals and my actual order. since i only have to put down a deposit, i have six to nine months to clear some debt (i'm looking at you credit cards) and research other financing. i'm not letting anything deter me from what i want
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find more of me:
attitude adjustment,
weheartit
November 30, 2011
time for change
i have things i want to say, and i continually don't say them. i have nothing to say, and i stare at this little box looking for something. lack of motivation. lack of time. lack of interest. forgetfulness. getting overwhelmed... the semester is speeding up and winding down at the same time. five assignments (including finals) and two weeks left. i'm disappointed in the quality of one class; i'm kind of sad my other class is ending. which is which surprises me given my feelings going into this semester
i have this massive to do list. it includes work, school and misc personal stuff i want/need to accomplish in the next few weeks. it's freaking me out, but going into each day with no plan freaks me out more. i hate getting to this point in the semester. i let things overwhelm me and pile up. then the pile up overwhelms me further, and i shut down. i've been shut down since october :( i planned out my november so that i could get back on course. i squandered all my waking hours playing online games. i wanted to read a book over the holiday weekend. i got as far as opening it on my kindle. i managed to complete two of three class assignments yesterday. only the two that were due yesterday. i now have four chapters to read for one class. the four i wanted to have read two weeks ago so that i could start focusing on final prep
i always have a game plan. i just suck at follow through. i am incredibly organized, and i let all my effort go to waste. i need to knock it off
this is my "i'm disappointed in you" speech to self. i cannot keep beating myself up for slacking. too much is at stake, and this berating just becomes more wasted time. i say, "i will start doing better today" every single day. today it needs to be true. as soon as i post this, i'm going to jump on a personal thing from my list while i eat breakfast. i worked from home yesterday so i'm going to check my email before i pack up my laptop. when i get to the office, i'm going to read the two chapters i should've had read for the last two weeks. if i finish before five, i'll try to get caught up on a few blogs. when i get home, i'll work on clearing out the tivo
this is my plan to get my shit together. it's time to start executing
i have this massive to do list. it includes work, school and misc personal stuff i want/need to accomplish in the next few weeks. it's freaking me out, but going into each day with no plan freaks me out more. i hate getting to this point in the semester. i let things overwhelm me and pile up. then the pile up overwhelms me further, and i shut down. i've been shut down since october :( i planned out my november so that i could get back on course. i squandered all my waking hours playing online games. i wanted to read a book over the holiday weekend. i got as far as opening it on my kindle. i managed to complete two of three class assignments yesterday. only the two that were due yesterday. i now have four chapters to read for one class. the four i wanted to have read two weeks ago so that i could start focusing on final prep
i always have a game plan. i just suck at follow through. i am incredibly organized, and i let all my effort go to waste. i need to knock it off
this is my "i'm disappointed in you" speech to self. i cannot keep beating myself up for slacking. too much is at stake, and this berating just becomes more wasted time. i say, "i will start doing better today" every single day. today it needs to be true. as soon as i post this, i'm going to jump on a personal thing from my list while i eat breakfast. i worked from home yesterday so i'm going to check my email before i pack up my laptop. when i get to the office, i'm going to read the two chapters i should've had read for the last two weeks. if i finish before five, i'll try to get caught up on a few blogs. when i get home, i'll work on clearing out the tivo
this is my plan to get my shit together. it's time to start executing
find more of me:
attitude adjustment,
gradschool,
resolutions,
work
November 21, 2011
November 17, 2011
wine & love10
how about a late day wine and love? good? good :) thanks, 
nora!
reasons my glass is double:
- the obvious
- a fight stemming from a miscommunication that lasted way longer than necessary because of miscommunications
- a constantly changing syllabus means i have no real idea when shit is due or even if certain things are still required
- my work project might get pulled because it may be pointless. i'm annoyed by so many things involving this even though i despise the project
- business partners who don't show up for regularly scheduled meetings with no explanation
reasons i'm loving this week:
- resolving the never ending fight and more reinforcement that my girls will always be there for me
- having a 98% in my other class. the class i was more concerned about screwing up when this semester began :)
- creating wedding inspiration boards to help JP.. and to feed my addiction for weddingy things
- two successful weeks of working out and cooking at home. neal and i skipped last friday morning's workout because we were both exhausted, but the plan is working out quite nicely
- dinner date with neal tomorrow since he has gift cards to use. i see some martini flights and creme brulee in my face
- motown station on pandora. it's keeping me calm as i deal with work aggravations, and it's helping me make my wedding playlist ;)
- one week until turkey day and my favorite people watching event. i'm having dinner with neal's family. we're all cooking things so it's gonna be crazy. plus the ravens plan the niners (harbaugh v harbaugh!) for TNF. plus i'm "shopping" with two of my favorites. there will be obnoxious amounts of food, many discussions, hard hits, venti starbucks, mcdonald's hashbrowns and much cursing over the course of two days. it's gonna be AWESOME
so what has you reaching for that second glass (in frustration or celebration)?
nora!reasons my glass is double:
- the obvious
- a fight stemming from a miscommunication that lasted way longer than necessary because of miscommunications
- a constantly changing syllabus means i have no real idea when shit is due or even if certain things are still required
- my work project might get pulled because it may be pointless. i'm annoyed by so many things involving this even though i despise the project
- business partners who don't show up for regularly scheduled meetings with no explanation
reasons i'm loving this week:
- resolving the never ending fight and more reinforcement that my girls will always be there for me
- having a 98% in my other class. the class i was more concerned about screwing up when this semester began :)
- creating wedding inspiration boards to help JP.. and to feed my addiction for weddingy things
- two successful weeks of working out and cooking at home. neal and i skipped last friday morning's workout because we were both exhausted, but the plan is working out quite nicely
- dinner date with neal tomorrow since he has gift cards to use. i see some martini flights and creme brulee in my face
- motown station on pandora. it's keeping me calm as i deal with work aggravations, and it's helping me make my wedding playlist ;)
- one week until turkey day and my favorite people watching event. i'm having dinner with neal's family. we're all cooking things so it's gonna be crazy. plus the ravens plan the niners (harbaugh v harbaugh!) for TNF. plus i'm "shopping" with two of my favorites. there will be obnoxious amounts of food, many discussions, hard hits, venti starbucks, mcdonald's hashbrowns and much cursing over the course of two days. it's gonna be AWESOME
so what has you reaching for that second glass (in frustration or celebration)?
find more of me:
attitude adjustment,
wine and love
November 14, 2011
we heart mondays 9
i've been in hiding somewhat since my last post. not tweeting. not reading blogs. not texting. i'm just so consumed by this sandusky thing. he's still claiming innocence while more and more is being dug up about him. a couple more kids have come forward and allegations have been made regarding one of his adopted sons. my skin crawls and my stomach turns every time i read something else, but i won't stop reading. i have this disgusting need to know all the horrific details because i want to know what kind of evil lives in the world. children are, unfortunately, abused and neglected every day. i would rather be hyper vigilant about these horrors than miss an opportunity to save a life. i have my child and adolescent psych class tomorrow. i have an inkling that the sandusky case will be brought up...
moving on. i definitely need this mental break from all the shit. then i need to tackle the pile of homework i've been neglecting (oops)
moving on. i definitely need this mental break from all the shit. then i need to tackle the pile of homework i've been neglecting (oops)
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| today is all about motown on pandora (via) |
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find more of me:
attitude adjustment,
weheartit
November 7, 2011
we heart mondays 8
today started out ok. after a fabulously close win over the steelers, i got some much needed sleep. 20 min workout with neal, quick fill up at the gas station and check deposited all before 9am. i love when DST ends; i'm back on my natural rhythm. i got to work feeling like this:
i had a game plan for the day because i slacked this weekend and had a project to push out. unfortunately, all my tech does not think i'm so very awesome this monday. i spent a good amount of time fighting everything, but i was able to get my weheartit fix... i ate part of my lunch as a midmorning snack, the rest of my lunch was disappointing and i really really want sweets (thanks, uterus). so preemptive warning that this is a sugar laced post of pretty/fun
project email has been sent so it's time for homework :p
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i had a game plan for the day because i slacked this weekend and had a project to push out. unfortunately, all my tech does not think i'm so very awesome this monday. i spent a good amount of time fighting everything, but i was able to get my weheartit fix... i ate part of my lunch as a midmorning snack, the rest of my lunch was disappointing and i really really want sweets (thanks, uterus). so preemptive warning that this is a sugar laced post of pretty/fun
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project email has been sent so it's time for homework :p
find more of me:
attitude adjustment,
weheartit
October 31, 2011
we heart mondays 7
ugh. still. struggling...
this may be the last week i do this. fucking work changed our network platform so some sites are now blocked. we heart it is sorta on their list. it freaks out every page view before letting me see pictures of seductive shoes, ocean views and cupcakes *eye roll*
*sigh* happy halloween, everyone. i hope your week is starting out better than mine
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| this will be me for the next few weeks (via) |
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| not technically from weheartit, but i loved this carving (via) |
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| happy halloween (via) |
*sigh* happy halloween, everyone. i hope your week is starting out better than mine
find more of me:
attitude adjustment,
weheartit
October 24, 2011
we heart mondays 6
this is a hard ass monday. i'm exhausted. i'm overwhelmed. i'm making decisions i don't want to have to make. it's been a day, which is making it hard to see the silver lining, glimmer of hope, light at the end of the tunnel...
i am asking for help and support...
to find my own grace and strength...
to get through the next six weeks
this week's FUFF fun questions are about music. a) do you listen to music when you work out? b) what gets you fired up? c) what's your guilty pleasure music? there's a 50/50 chance i'll listen to music when i get on the treadmill. what i choose depends on my mood when i get on, how long i plan to walk and the pace i want to set. i'll listen to system of a down, fiona apple, charlotte sometimes, britney spears, miley cyrus, xzibit, m.i.a., poe, limp bizkit... doesn't matter as long as the ipod keeps playing. my guilty pleasure? pussycat dolls and britney spears. i think they need to fire their writers if they want to be taken seriously as artists, but i love blasting them on long car rides
long post with many words coming soon...
i am asking for help and support...
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to find my own grace and strength...
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to get through the next six weeks
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this week's FUFF fun questions are about music. a) do you listen to music when you work out? b) what gets you fired up? c) what's your guilty pleasure music? there's a 50/50 chance i'll listen to music when i get on the treadmill. what i choose depends on my mood when i get on, how long i plan to walk and the pace i want to set. i'll listen to system of a down, fiona apple, charlotte sometimes, britney spears, miley cyrus, xzibit, m.i.a., poe, limp bizkit... doesn't matter as long as the ipod keeps playing. my guilty pleasure? pussycat dolls and britney spears. i think they need to fire their writers if they want to be taken seriously as artists, but i love blasting them on long car rides
long post with many words coming soon...
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find more of me:
attitude adjustment,
weheartit
October 17, 2011
we heart mondays 5
random q from this week's FUFF: "would you rather have burgers for feet or sausages for fingers?" i started to think about this, but i had too many follow up questions. are we talking raw or cooked? would the meat ever go bad or is it magically decay resistant? how big are these burgers and sausages? in the end, i figured that i would devour my own limbs in either case so it didn't matter. mmm meaty goodness ;)
in honor of cannibalism and getting sucked into rebuild2, here's some zombie hearting...
in honor of cannibalism and getting sucked into rebuild2, here's some zombie hearting...
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| ...and added to my goodreads "to read" bookshelf (via) |
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| not the smurfs! (via) |
find more of me:
attitude adjustment,
weheartit
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