i have things i want to say, and i continually don't say them. i have nothing to say, and i stare at this little box looking for something. lack of motivation. lack of time. lack of interest. forgetfulness. getting overwhelmed... the semester is speeding up and winding down at the same time. five assignments (including finals) and two weeks left. i'm disappointed in the quality of one class; i'm kind of sad my other class is ending. which is which surprises me given my feelings going into this semester
i have this massive to do list. it includes work, school and misc personal stuff i want/need to accomplish in the next few weeks. it's freaking me out, but going into each day with no plan freaks me out more. i hate getting to this point in the semester. i let things overwhelm me and pile up. then the pile up overwhelms me further, and i shut down. i've been shut down since october :( i planned out my november so that i could get back on course. i squandered all my waking hours playing online games. i wanted to read a book over the holiday weekend. i got as far as opening it on my kindle. i managed to complete two of three class assignments yesterday. only the two that were due yesterday. i now have four chapters to read for one class. the four i wanted to have read two weeks ago so that i could start focusing on final prep
i always have a game plan. i just suck at follow through. i am incredibly organized, and i let all my effort go to waste. i need to knock it off
this is my "i'm disappointed in you" speech to self. i cannot keep beating myself up for slacking. too much is at stake, and this berating just becomes more wasted time. i say, "i will start doing better today" every single day. today it needs to be true. as soon as i post this, i'm going to jump on a personal thing from my list while i eat breakfast. i worked from home yesterday so i'm going to check my email before i pack up my laptop. when i get to the office, i'm going to read the two chapters i should've had read for the last two weeks. if i finish before five, i'll try to get caught up on a few blogs. when i get home, i'll work on clearing out the tivo
this is my plan to get my shit together. it's time to start executing
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