i started a post a few weeks ago when i was freaking out about a huge research paper i had due. the paper got done. i only got three hours of sleep in a 24 hour period, and i missed the entire lecture portion of my group therapy class. but that paper was completed on time. class was cancelled due to an emergency so i left campus livid. i'm still kind of pissed that we weren't given an extra week even though it was pretty clear he wouldn't be reading our papers until he collected the hard copies. whatever. i better get an A on that bitch. i often joke that my master's should be in procrastination. i gave myself an entire two weeks for that paper; i wasted all of that time. afterwards, i gave myself a day to recoup mentally. i have yet to finish a single reading from the last week. i know better than this; yet i keep putting myself in this situation. i tell myself the bullshit stops now. i tell myself i'm going to start my day a certain way. i tell myself... all sorts of other lies. because the internet is always waiting, pulling, asking me to play. i'm catching up on blog posts from october. i'm keeping (or trying to keep) my tumblr unreads under 100. i'm trying to keep up with twitter friends because i'm worried about them. ugh and i started this semester so strongly...
today, however, i am too angry with the internet to spend all my time sifting through it. i am angry with the offline people i care most about. i am angry that our world is so fucked up and people are too self absorbed to see things for what they are. i am questioning the people around me. i am questioning myself, but i know what i would have done as a person, as a future mental health professional, as a future parent. conrad murray. herman cain. jerry sandusky. these stories hurt my soul
i didn't follow the murray trial; i have half an unpopular opinion. he absolutely did the wrong thing in prescribing/administering medication to jackson who needed psychological care more than anything. vilifying him is not going to do much of anything in the grand scheme of proper healthy care. to me, this is another high profile case designed to appease the unruly masses... herman cain is a sketchy bastard who i truly believe sexually harassed those women. that being said, i think sharon bialek is suspicious. her allegations are not about sexual harassment; if true, she was sexually assaulted, a criminal act. if she's only seeking an apology or putting a name/face to the allegations now, why did she hire gloria alred? if she's pressing charges, the statute of limitations for the assault has run out (which is fucked up in its own right). the other women reported the incidents when they happened and steps were taken to shoo them away. bialek said nothing and her claims are far worse than harassment. she doesn't come across as the type to keep her mouth shut for this long. i don't care about her financial or marital situation, but there is something about her i simply don't trust
i cannot fully express to you the anger i have towards jerry sandusky and penn state. i didn't pay attention to the original reports. in the twitter jumble, i saw that someone witnessed sandusky with a kid/player on campus. i honestly thought this was about sandusky having a relationship with a college student. whatever, it happens. then i heard "jerry sandusky - child molestation" on the news. i freaked out on two levels. one because i thought they were talking about gerry sandusky, one of our local news anchors. two: MOLESTATION!?? finally getting all the pieces straight, i realized this was about a different dude, minors and years of lies. i hope he spends the rest of his miserable life in prison. i was glad to hear that schultz and curley were arrested for not reporting the allegations to any police authority. i was also glad to hear paterno and spanier were fired. i think mcqueary should be next on the chopping block at penn state, and spanier should also be arrested for failing to report. not a single one of these men went to police about the rape of a 10 year old boy. paterno and mcqueary may have done the right thing notifying superiors, but they didn't do enough
PA state law requires that such allegations be reported to the police within 48 hours. even if paterno and mcqueary didn't know the 48 hour requirement, they had to have known something was up when no one from the university or county/state police department contacted either of them to follow up. mcqueary was an eye witness. he most certainly should have expected a call from the proper authorities. yet they let this all go for almost a decade. while neither of them committed a crime in the eyes of the law, neither of them did enough to really protect the children who crossed sandusky's path. sandusky was a foster parent and ran a special program for at risk youth. he was constantly around children and adolescents. there was a pattern of behavior that many found bizarre and uncomfortable; the majority of people said nothing. he'd been under investigation in 1998 because of inappropriate contact. but when you actually see a rape in front of you? you don't do everything in your power to ensure that it doesn't happen again? are you fucking serious? you'd rather sacrifice that child and other children for your precious fucking football program?! paterno doesn't deserve the dignity of finishing his career and resigning. mcqueary doesn't deserve the right to continue business as usual either. they brought this shame on themselves, and they should live with that every fucking day
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