April 6, 2010

my right to bone

so i randomly decided to parcitipate in women's writes, hosted by ms. shine and ms. marie. i'm only a little behind schedule ;)...

Women's Writes

after a twitter chat with ms. shine, i decided to focus on birth control. unfortunately, i got sidetracked by a birthday, unpacking and work. instead of dispelling myths about birth control (seriously some of the stuff i've heard is incredibly ridiculous... you know, if you believe in science). i'll share a link, and then get on with the rest of my post :)

there's an interesting article on livestrong.com on different "methods" of birth control. honestly, i laugh when i read some of the things people have done to avoid getting pregnant. if you didn't want to get pregnant, you should've done your homework. too lazy to do your homework? we're gonna buy you a chastity belt. don't know where to get information? google (hello! you're already on the internet) or your doctor. don't have a doctor you feel comfortable talking to? find a new doctor and talk to him or her. some women don't buy condoms. some women don't have regular birth control. some women don't see a gynecologist. i say to them: get with it or close your legs. i know i'm being incredibly judgemental, but as a sexually active person, i think it's important for people to have all the facts before crossing that line. other links on contraception (what's true and what's not) from about.com and webmd

/preaching. on to the fun stuff... getting laid

ladies, we need to talk about it. we don't have to be vulgar and graphic, but we should feel comfortable expressing our own needs and wants. we should feel comfortable asking questions. we should feel comfortable in our own bodies... i saw my girls back in january, and the conversation inevitably got to doing the deed. three of us are non-virgins and our fourth is ready to not be. in classic fashion, we grilled her about her boyfriend, how things are going, her emotional gauge and what stuff they'd done so far. she, also classic, was semi-dodging the sex questions. "if you can't talk to us, who are you going to talk to?" *insert crazy nervous laughter* why are we so hesitant?

i have never been shy about sex and sexuality. i was curious as a child (and now), which led to my scarring byfirst glimpses of childbirth. in 5th grade family life, i was one of the girls giggling about wet dreams when everyone else was listening to how babies are given to two loving catholic parents. penises were gross and fascinating. i've had cyber sex and phone sex with strangers and boyfriends. i've had one night stands and friends with benefits. i like trying new positions, but i always come back to missionary. i love my red vibrator with the little butterfly, as much as, i love spending the afternoon in bed with my boy. i have had sex without condoms (before the pill* and on the pill), but i always keep my own stash. i see my gynecologist and get STD testing on a regular basis... none of this information is hard to share; i love talking about sex. but i feel like an anomaly

to me, sex is very personal. every individual can and should decide when to have sex and who to have it with. however, we should also be allowed to be open about what we're thinking and feeling. there is misinformation everywhere (hear the one about sperm swimming faster in a hot tub?). if i could, i would give a pamphlet to every single person on the planet providing basic information to counteract some of the idiocy. as a person, you should consider, for yourself, your opinions on all aspects of sex. as a sexual person (active or not), it's your responsibility to protect yourself and your partner. as a woman, you should be aware of your own body: what it needs, how it functions, how to keep it healthy. it's our right to have proper health care (including mental and reproductive health) throughout all stages of life. it's our right to get proper information about what has been scientifically evidenced to aid or prevent pregnancy and the spread of STDs. it's our right to make decisions about all things related to our bodies (augmentation, pregnancy, labor, etc.). in my opinion, the first step is being vocal

so let's talk

*not my proudest moment, but it happened. i made him pull out, and i had my first and only trip to a clinic for the morning after pill. which is actually four pills taken over a 12 hour period...


Anonymous said...

I agree that we should all be more open to talking about it. It seems young kids and teenagers only want to spread really bizarre untruths about sex and pregnancy. Abstinence only "education" sure as hell doesn't help.

Glad you posted about this. Any time you want to talk sex, I'm always down!

Anonymous said...

I love that you wrote about this. It makes my heart hurt to see so many women that are ashamed to talk about sex.

Like you said, it doesn't need to be vulgar or raunchy, but it needs to be talked about. In our society, women are considered virgins or sluts, but there is such a vast gray area, that if we would only talk about it, would help change that.

I'm with you. I like sex, I like to talk about sex and I'm not ashamed of that!

Soph! said...


Even though I was the last one of my friends to lose my virginity (21), I've always been very open about sex and I love talking about it. Hello!? I'm even studying so I can be a nurse at a gyno's office (preferably planned parenthood) so that I can get paid to educate people about sex.

I had to take the morning after pill twice in college (fucked up taking my birth control pills and wasn't taken ANY chances!). Mine was only one pill. They make several different varieties. The multiple pill pack, the 2 pill one and the single dose.

and my vibrator is purple with a dolphin :)

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