ahhh FREAK OUT

this has sort of been the summer of travel, and i want to tell you all about it. i opened this page specifically to tell you about my latest adventures. four weekends in four states over four months :) however, I JUST PAID FOR MY FINAL SEMESTER AS A MASTER'S STUDENT. cue hyperventilating because now i have to apply for graduation. GRADUATION!!! god it's been an eternity since the last time i had to do this

i am excited. but i'm more overwhelmed. with my grad school track record, i'm more stressed out than ever about getting through this semester. two classes stand between me and my MS. not that i'm done. i still have an additional two semesters plus boards for the certificate program. but my focus is entirely on getting through 15 weeks of papers, interning, exams and reading. if i slip even a little, i'm screwed. out of the class, out of the program, no master's for me

i know what everyone's going to say because everyone's already saying it. "you'll do great." "you've got this." "your're so close." i know. i know. i kinda believe you. i appreciate and love all the support from friends and family. and i'm definitely going to need it now more than ever. but this is really really daunting. i'm that much closer to the life i want, and i'm that much closer to the edge of failure. it has happened more times than i'd like to think about (and no, i don't mean "i got a B. i failed; i suck at everything"). so fucking this up is a palpable reality. no amount of support is going to make me any calmer or confident. just know there will be a lot of whining and crying and freaking out from now until december. you've been warned