March 31, 2010

you remind me...

it was a whirlwind weekend, and im really sad it's over... especially because it hit me that i won't be seeing InSlut again until may. we didn't get nearly enough time together on sunday, and our schedules just don't sync up in april. as usual, i packed too many people into a too short weekend. i had a lot of fun at HE's sleepover and seeing EH/JS at their new office (eep they're grown ups with jobs and websites and business cards :)). JP was even able to make the open house so we got to catch up a little. after that, i had a hellish drive from fairfax, va to hershey, pa that included an almost death because some asshole in a coach bus wasn't paying enough attention. i was in hershey to watch the bears play along with MM, JM and AS. i invited InSlut along cause he's a hockey fan and it was an easy, small "meet the friends" thing. unfortunately, two people backed out so he didn't get to meet a couple of my closies. the game itself was great (bears won), but there were also some non-game disappointments... naturally, i spent the night at his place instead of heading home, and fun was had by all :) we watched movies, listened to music and talked about seeing russia from the bedroom. while cuddled up in bed, i also realized something...

i don't know where the happy came from, but now it lives with me. i don't have doubts or fears at the forefront of my thoughts. the inner maelstrom, with its bad memories and hurt feelings, seems to be less prevalent. i don't know if it's getting smaller or just easier to ignore. but i do know that when i'm with him, i don't feel lost, hurt, confused or inferior. they've been replaced by feelings of comfort, safety and love...

i feel home




"there's just one thing you should know... i prefer that you keep it"

2 comments:

Ashley said...

SOOOOOOOOOOOO happy you don't have doubts or fears or whatnots.

Well deserved!

Ebony Jewel said...

Aww good!! Happy to hear that Mr. InSlut makes all of your fears go away. I'm sure your time away from each other will make the moment you see each other again much sweeter!!

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