you remind me...

it was a whirlwind weekend, and im really sad it's over... especially because it hit me that i won't be seeing InSlut again until may. we didn't get nearly enough time together on sunday, and our schedules just don't sync up in april. as usual, i packed too many people into a too short weekend. i had a lot of fun at HE's sleepover and seeing EH/JS at their new office (eep they're grown ups with jobs and websites and business cards :)). JP was even able to make the open house so we got to catch up a little. after that, i had a hellish drive from fairfax, va to hershey, pa that included an almost death because some asshole in a coach bus wasn't paying enough attention. i was in hershey to watch the bears play along with MM, JM and AS. i invited InSlut along cause he's a hockey fan and it was an easy, small "meet the friends" thing. unfortunately, two people backed out so he didn't get to meet a couple of my closies. the game itself was great (bears won), but there were also some non-game disappointments... naturally, i spent the night at his place instead of heading home, and fun was had by all :) we watched movies, listened to music and talked about seeing russia from the bedroom. while cuddled up in bed, i also realized something...

i don't know where the happy came from, but now it lives with me. i don't have doubts or fears at the forefront of my thoughts. the inner maelstrom, with its bad memories and hurt feelings, seems to be less prevalent. i don't know if it's getting smaller or just easier to ignore. but i do know that when i'm with him, i don't feel lost, hurt, confused or inferior. they've been replaced by feelings of comfort, safety and love...

i feel home




"there's just one thing you should know... i prefer that you keep it"