September 30, 2013


i don't attend church unless it's a wedding or a funeral. i haven't prayed since i got my first diary. i don't normally think about either

watching a tv priest kneel before the alter hit me strangely though. i miss attending mass

i don't miss the place. i don't miss the people. i just miss the rituals. i miss the predictability of service

i was raised catholic and received my first communion. i attended confirmation, but didn't actually affirm my promise. i'm very good at being quiet in a large crowd speaking together. i found it difficult to tie myself to a faith that made my mother jump threw hoops to receive the sacrament because she had a different set of rituals. i officially renounced my faith sophomore year of college

but i still miss some pieces of that faith. i miss the connection, the familiarity and the simplicity. i miss the certainty. i miss being seven and believing in things

i have no intention of returning to that faith, but i do want to recapture the meaning of it all