tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23669925951319260312024-03-05T19:29:08.213-05:00Desultory Diversionsit seems so logical in my headmichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comBlogger273125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-58004270458681368632014-03-24T22:54:00.001-04:002014-03-24T22:54:43.285-04:00this is not my lifeat least, not entirely. it's not the life i thought i'd be living by now...<br />
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as my last couple weeks of 29 wind down, i randomly reflect on my life - where i've been, where i am and where i'm going. it definitely isn't the picture i thought i'd be constructing at this stage of the game. some days, i'm ok with this. some days, i want to cry into my pillow and never leave bed again ever<br />
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is this the struggle of overly ambitious people? is this just what happens with middle age milestones?<br />
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whatever it is, i don't like it. i was completely unconcerned about this birthday until a month ago. neal sent me a silly teasing text as he usually does. and it stung. a lot. i almost cried. completely out of the ordinary for me. this oscillation between "FUCK 30" and "FUCKYEA 30"... oh god. just writing those words was a jab in the heart. literally, just sunk back in my chair like someone punched me... the oscillation makes me question my own emotions. i'm constantly putting on a front of whatever cause i don't know what's happening internally<br />
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i earned my MS in 2012 and joined an illustrious organization in 2013.<br />
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four of my friends are getting married this year. FOUR.<br />
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i'm another step closer to licensure and working two jobs i adore.<br />
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two of my friends are having their second children this year. one is having her first.<br />
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i own my own car and am on track to repay my loan early<br />
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my best friend bought a house this month<br />
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for every success, i'm reminded of the things i've put off - for myself and because of others. i'm horribly impatient with life; i think that's always been clear. but it's also occasionally imposed impatience. i've reached the point when people ask big questions about my life. i'm tired of smiling and saying "no" to most. playing off the fact that my stalled life weighs heavy on my heart. pretending like i'm not angry and frustrated. ignoring my internal clock that has been ticking for two years. i already had my own shit rolling around in my head, and now i've internalized additional pressure from all these people<br />
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i know i shouldn't let other people dictate my life, especially people who don't know me. i know i shouldn't compare myself to everyone. i also know how fucking hard it is to let go when i identified my life plan at age 13. i know my passions. i know what i want, and i'm not asking for much. i'm tired of waiting for the pieces to fall into place, as determined by someone other than myself<br />
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i'm going to be 30, and i'm releasing the brake. this is not my life, but it's going to be michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-24570681666112658172013-11-01T23:44:00.000-04:002013-11-01T23:44:24.726-04:00holiday cards 2013been a terrible blogger this year, but i'm planning to make up for it. starting with holiday cards. i'm a hallmark addict, and i've decided to add my blog peeps (if any of you are still out there) to the list. if you'd like a card from this crazy gal, just fill out the handy form below :)<br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" height="550" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" src="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1a5GuAQ5WdSz9P7cei0SaS494-4p1ppCG7I5_hZECgTs/viewform?embedded=true" width="550">Loading...</iframe><br />
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when school is finally over, i'll try to stop being such a neglectful bloggermichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-35885887991151695672013-09-30T20:05:00.000-04:002013-09-30T20:05:59.912-04:00simplicityi don't attend church unless it's a wedding or a funeral. i haven't prayed since i got my first diary. i don't normally think about either<br />
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watching a tv priest kneel before the alter hit me strangely though. i miss attending mass<br />
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i don't miss the place. i don't miss the people. i just miss the rituals. i miss the predictability of service<br />
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i was raised catholic and received my first communion. i attended confirmation, but didn't actually affirm my promise. i'm very good at being quiet in a large crowd speaking together. i found it difficult to tie myself to a faith that made my mother jump threw hoops to receive the sacrament because she had a different set of rituals. i officially renounced my faith sophomore year of college<br />
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but i still miss some pieces of that faith. i miss the connection, the familiarity and the simplicity. i miss the certainty. i miss being seven and believing in things<br />
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i have no intention of returning to that faith, but i do want to recapture the meaning of it allmichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-79178361236029811092013-07-15T13:36:00.002-04:002013-07-16T07:20:25.355-04:002013 goals: midyear updatei have so many unfinished posts floating around in here. one of these days, i will finish one. the one i started saturday night is definitely an important one for me. it's also going to be a really hard post to create. but on to something less difficult: <a href="http://schoonsense.blogspot.com/2013/01/2013-goals.html" target="new">my goals</a><br />
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i finally sat down yesterday (no choice when you're trapped in a car for 12 hours) and reassessed. i deleted, updated and condensed. my goal areas, of course, haven't changed (professional development, physical & mental health and financial management), but now i have 15 goals - some specific, some general. all focused on improving and growing. one step towards accomplishing or at least moving in the direction of my goals is to let my planning go *shudder* which is so tough<br />
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the last few weeks have highlighted a lot of things for me. one of which is my strong "need" to plan and my complete lack of follow through. so i am stepping back from my hyper regimented life. having a plan is helpful, but i waste WAY too much time plotting out details. i'm too mentally exhausted to actually do anything. i truly can't continue living like this so i am going to try doing things differently. we'll see how it all goes...michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-51874854035371601802013-05-06T02:00:00.003-04:002013-05-06T02:00:48.978-04:00disappearing actafter encouraging a <a href="https://twitter.com/tillien" target="_blank">friend</a> to restart her blog, i realized i should probably post to my own. almost two months later, a lot of shit has happened. you know i love details and over telling my stories (and there's always a story), but i'll stick to bullet points to keep it easy. i can tell the stories in other posts (help me refind my blog mojo?)<br />
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*i took over an audit at work. i'm stressed out and back to working ridiculous hours to make up for when i'm "out"<br />
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*i'm using an insane amount of vacation in preparation of leaving my job. not that i've applied elsewhere... yet... took a week off for my birthday, which got interrupted. taking off extra time to live it up in vegas<br />
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*bossman and a coworker left the business. hence why i have this damn audit and less support. my other coworker was moved to a different team; her boss is trying to get the shit we manage off her plate. dunno what that will mean for me, but i seriously hope every task doesn't fall back to me <br />
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*i've been interning like crazy. my clients are all over the place. my interventions are, too. i'm trying similar things with different people with varying success. it's been a great experience though<br />
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*i'm winding down my time at my internship and started prepping my clients for my departure. one who i find particularly difficult hugged me and thanked me for how much i've helped. i'm still shocked<br />
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*i didn't take my boards in april, which is why i'll be leaving my site instead of staying as a pt employee. fucking date change. now i'm scheduled to sit for the exam in october<br />
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*i wouldn't have been able to take boards even without the date mixup. cause i spent the month of april pledging. i'd tell you which sorority, but i'm trying to keep them off my blog. it's not always sisterly, and i refuse to give it up or censor myself. FUCK that<br />
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*i have a new twitter for the same reason. i'm keeping <a href="http://twitter.com/mcschoon" target="_blank">@mcschoon</a> as my main twitter space; <a href="https://twitter.com/aceschoon" target="_blank">@aceschoon</a> is the scrubbed version. might take it in a more professional direction at some point<br />
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*i'm nearing the end of another semester. it's been one of the busiest with a ridiculous amount of reading from one class. i should be working on one of the many assignments i have due this week. per usual<br />
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*i'm taking a summer class with my favorite prof. then i'm taking three classes in the fall. ugh to being full time, including paying for that shit and the increased time consumption. BUT it'll be my last ever semester of grad school. i. can't. wait<br />
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*oh yea, and i moved. pants and i are no longer codependent roomie besties. we're just codependent besties who never see each other cause i'm always working. the move was stressful, and i'm totally gonna yelp about it<br />
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*i had my five year anniversary at work. i picked out an exercise ball as my gift. i've used it once, and i'm not sure i like it. glad it was free<br />
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*i still haven't finished unpacking from the move because of all the pledging, interning and auditing. i did find my old journal though; there are some real gems in it. weird how much has changed... and how much hasn't... since i was 14<br />
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*i gained five pounds. stress eating, choosing poorly and just generally overdoing it. thinking i'm pretty hideous at the moment. trying to get back on the wagon and reframe my negative self images... while eating a pint of karamel sutra...<br />
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*my brother comes home this week, but i won't see him until after vegas. he's been oversees for 18 months, and he gets two weeks of leave. that's some bullshit. at least we get to celebrate his birthday together this time<br />
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remembering all the shit that's happened is really hard. reason why i should blog more often? probably. now, about those homework assignments....michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-77732781522197521622013-03-12T17:36:00.003-04:002013-03-12T17:36:58.481-04:00little rejectionsi am continually amazed by bloggers who can bare their souls and build amazing bonds with other bloggers. they form these relationships that can rival any "real life" friendship, past and present. they constantly build their own communities and support systems. and i am constantly jealous<br />
<br />
which is dumb<br />
<br />
because i actively and passively cut myself off from that potential. i share just enough. i support just enough. i open the door to my heart just a hair because letting people in terrifies the shit out of me. sunday, a dog broke my heart, and i'm still upset. i can rationalize why she still doesn't trust me, but it hurts nonetheless. what the hell am i supposed to do when it's people?<br />
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it's difficult for me to make friends though i have a lot. i can only think of 1 friend <i>i</i> actually made my entire life. sometimes it's hard to feel connected to friends, even when i'm not being guarded. because, deep down, i'm 95% sure everyone hates me. no matter how hard i try, what i do or how i act. they just don't wear their disdain out in the open like diva dogmichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-40284944515002567292013-02-20T22:22:00.002-05:002013-02-20T22:22:37.860-05:00someone of sound mind<i>this song will always have relevance</i><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/clZu21vRtAc?rel=0" width="420"></iframe> michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-43511007882410650722013-02-13T23:38:00.000-05:002013-02-13T23:38:21.270-05:00unmooredi'm lost... or at least, i have lost part of me<br />
<br />
in all the coursework, experiences and feedback, i have lost my sense of myself as a counselor. i've become so bogged down in learning the skills and forgotten that i already have natural skill. giving everything a name seems to have shifted me in a negative direction. i find myself struggling more and more, when i should be finding my groove. i understand that all of this is supposed to focus me and enhance my craft. but all its done is cloud my view<br />
<br />
i was reading a case study that could have been about someone i know. it could almost have been about me. i understood the client before her therapist did. i understood where she was coming from before my classmates did. not to say that i am better than him or them, but that i have an important perspective many don't. that perspective gets kicked around when we start using our fancy terms and theories<br />
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i didn't come into this field because people told me i'm a great listener. i didn't have every friend coming to me for help and advice. i didn't fall into this in the middle of my college career because human behavior randomly started to interest me<br />
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i did fall into psychology ungracefully, a gifted kid afforded the privilege of <a href="http://cty.jhu.edu/" target="blank">advanced experiences</a>. but i've always wanted to help in some capacity. and i've always been drawn to psychology in ways i didn't understand (who, at 11, is trying to make a case for why her brother's trained psychiatrist was a blithering idiot about diagnosis and treatment? oh, and i was right? TAKE THAT). i found psychology at 13. i briefly, post college, put it on hold to pursue a field i thought would be complementary. psychology called me home again. this is who i am. this is who i have always been<br />
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i know this. i just need to pull my lost parts out of the ensuing fogmichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-37291270434019509062013-02-09T09:56:00.000-05:002013-02-09T09:56:00.081-05:00peek a booy'all know how i like to disappear every now and again cause my plate is always too full ;) well, i haven't been completely out of it this time. in case you missed me, i blogged over at <a href="http://www.colorfulcalm.com/" target="blank">colorful calm</a> for the wonderful maria. if you don't know her, you definitely should. scoot on over to check out <a href="http://www.colorfulcalm.com/2013/02/08/michelles-take-shy-vs-introverted/" target="blank">my post</a> (especially the introverts), the other guest bloggers and maria's internet space. my biased opinion is that you won't be disappointed :)michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-81022151618985936282013-01-21T22:04:00.000-05:002013-05-07T22:12:54.098-04:00serving moreparticipated in a king holiday community service project today through UB. we helped a local organization clean up one of the many forgotten areas of baltimore: <a href="http://www.the6thbranch.org/?q=mlk13" target="blank">oliver</a>. this day has made me think of a lot so i thought i'd jot down some reminders (and tips) for participating in community service<br />
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- wear comfy clothes with pockets and good shoes<br />
- if you're working outside, remember to layer appropriately for the cold or heat<br />
- you are not thor. ask for help moving and lifting things<br />
- be courteous and polite to your fellow volunteers<br />
- remember that people are still people even when brought together to do some good<br />
- be patient<br />
- if you're doing trash cleanup, wear thick gloves<br />
- you have access to soap, water and laundry<br />
- there is at least one person who will appreciate what you're trying to do<br />
- you are returning to warmer environments, but for some warmth is a luxury<br />
- still enjoy that deliciously hot bath and hot tea<br />
- manual labor is free exercise [one of our group mentioned this heh]<br />
- you know when you've reached your true limit and need to take a break<br />
- your muscles will recover from the extra exertion<br />
- remember that you wanted to be more involved in the community<br />
- you can't pick up every minute broken unwanted thing, but you sure as hell shouldn't walk away without trying<br />
- this is just a first step<br />
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now that some parts of my life are slowing down, i'm hoping to increasingly involve myself in service projects. it's one of the many reasons i'm pledging DST (oh, yea. that's happening). i always want to give back, and now i finally have the ability to do more than give money :)<br />
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now excuse me as a crawl into bed with bengay ;)michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-61205752287000375402013-01-10T21:30:00.002-05:002013-01-10T21:30:22.495-05:002013 goalsand then i figured it out at 1am<br />
<br />
i have five overarching goals i plan to focus on this year<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
financial: stick to a budget to work on paying down debt<br />
physical: focus on food and fitness to drop weight<br />
physical: take care of the little things to prevent health issues<br />
mental: make time for myself and people in my life<br />
professional: grow as a counselor in and out of session</blockquote>
my crazy list of 30 specific goals fit snuggly under these umbrellas, which, organizationally, makes my life much saner :)<br />
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yes, i said 30... one of which i'm already failing at. boo. i'll spare you the details because i'm trying not to look completely type a for a change. i'm deleting my goal tracker since it's not really helping. instead, i'm putting everything in my planner. crossing things off seems more fun than checking off boxes. plus i can interject little rewards on the list to keep myself motivated<br />
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a bit of my usual initial motivation is creeping in. i'm excited to work on things now that a plan is starting to gel. i just need to do better at not slipping into sustained slumps. i have a lot of great support (thanks, all of you!!!). i'm just terrible at using that support to help me through rough patches. maybe i should make that #31 ;) for now, i'm off to attack my planner. woohoo!<br />
<br />michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-60669043894160713532013-01-09T16:29:00.000-05:002013-01-09T16:33:03.334-05:00goal settingso i sat down and copied all the goals i've had over the last few years. not that i needed to since they never really change. health, finances, academics and work. no matter what i do, i always have the same focuses, the same amount of success and the same setbacks<br />
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so at what point do i concede that there are goals that i simply cannot meet?<br />
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well, if you know anything about me at this point, the answer is never. mentally, i want to push that much harder to accomplish everything. the problem is when my motivation begins to fade. i only do well when i'm competing with someone else. oddly, i have very little inner motivation (at least not consistently), but i am fiercely competitive. i know i've stagnated in my growth as a person in some aspects because of this. there is no competition in counseling or at my job. there is only me halfheartedly striving to improve. or just prove in some cases. having just read <a href="http://nicoleisbetter.com/the-power-of-community-one-final-trip-to-vegas-and-the-cure-for-comparing-yourself-to-other-people" target="new">nicole's post</a> on why we shouldn't be comparing ourselves to everyone else, i'm feeling a bit lost. comparing myself has been my biggest motivator over the last few years. what am i going to do if i let that go?<br />
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*sigh* what the fuck is wrong with me?<br />
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...i'm going to set these goals. not just for the next month, but for the next year. i'm just not sure how i'm going to break down attacking the goals and staying motivated. that'll be part of the next phase i guess. woohoo planning. the only thing i'm truly good at doing :pmichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-29825224918838581472013-01-08T22:44:00.001-05:002013-01-08T22:44:36.968-05:00kicking things offi keep opening this box to blog, but there are too many things swirling in my brain. none of which are terribly interesting or "blogworthy"<br />
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- i graduated a few weeks ago, and i'm still waiting on my actual diploma. i kinda hate that they weren't printed for the day of the ceremony. i believe in immediacy, bitches. i think it'll arrive in the next couple weeks though. then i'm gonna get that motherfucker framed for my not office<br />
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- i'm equal parts excited and nervous about moving in a couple months. found places i like; sorting out what i'm willing to pay. also hinges on who will be living with me later in the year. pants and i are getting divorced. lol i love that we're calling it a divorce since he's my gay husband. but it's totally ridiculous to me how much our friends are freaking out. we're fully capable of living apart. plus we couldn't live together forever. it's like the world is ending for everyone, but us. reassuring people has been amusing and inane. our divorce party is going to be awesome though<br />
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- interning is going ok. i'm a wee frustrated since some of my clients are terrible at rescheduling. i did pick up a few new cases, but haven't made much progress with my previous ones. i'm learning to let it go though. this is their treatment. if clients/parents don't want to come, it's not on me to beg them to come get help. in the meantime, i don't have to make up as many hours for work this month. woohoo not working every sunday<br />
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those are the highlights on my radar. i don't really feel like thinking through 2012 or setting goals for 2013 just yet. though i may soon. my life is better with goals and schedules. i already have half that equation sorted out. just need to spend some time thinking about what i want from this year... for now, i'm gonna crawl into bed and play some epic mickeymichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-3745725581243896632012-12-26T20:24:00.000-05:002012-12-26T20:24:20.898-05:00xmas 2012heh sad that my first post in weeks is about my holiday gifties, but i do love documenting what i get each year. helps me organize my list for next year :)<br />
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bath & body works - forever red<br />
carol's daughter hair products<br />
the closer seasons 4-6<br />
hunger games boxed set<br />
heroes for my son<br />
the wire boxed set<br />
lego harry potter<br />
epic mickey: power of illusion<br />
sex & the city perfume<br />
johnny walker black<br />
"people i want to punch in the face" journal<br />
meat thermometer<br />
woodberry kitchen gift card<br />
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after opening presents all morning (well the first hour we were all awake ;)), mom and i made breakfast. then we had to haul a bunch of stuff to my place because the oven had a malfunction christmas eve. at least that was what we were told by my ridiculous father. we spent a few hours cooking, baking and watching auntie mame in the peace. we repacked christmas dinner and headed back to the house... to find my father had put the damn turkey in the oven to keep warm and everyone had eaten a late lunch. i maxed out my level of frustration. so i spent the rest of the evening drinking and talking to mom. i also made friends with my sister's dog. she's jumpy around people, but we're making progress through belly scratches. i finished my night with <i>the preacher's wife</i> with the madre. christmas continued today with a few more xmas movies, leftovers and a too short nap<br />
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i love being on vacationmichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-83584219249862952302012-11-14T13:46:00.004-05:002012-11-14T13:46:52.364-05:00fall goalsi need to get back into my routine, get back into the habit of taking care of myself. cause i've been off my game. clearly. i know what's wrong, and i'm stressed out... i didn't change my overall goals, but i haven't posted them or truly kept on top of them. plus a few got some alterations<br />
<br />1. <i>food</i>: four veggies/fruits, two dairy and two healthy oils daily. choose whole grains and lean protein. one grain or pasta per week. at least one all veggie dinner per week<br />
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2. <i>walking </i>(forget workouts): weekly step goal of 35,000 (5000 daily). for any day that i don't get at least 3750 steps, get on the treadmill before bed<br />
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3. <i>stretch</i>: back exercises daily and stretching through out the day while at work [signed up for <a href="http://www.fitbolt.com/" target="new">fitbolt</a>, which links to my fitbit, for desk/office stretches and activities]<br />
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4. <i>weight</i>: drop those annoying eight pounds by january 1st<br />
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5. <i>teeth</i>: floss daily<br />
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6. <i>me time</i>: journal & read for fun daily<br />
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7. <i>routine</i>: create daily to do list, don't procrastinate homework/assignments and pay attention to time<br />
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i need to get my good habits back before i spiral out of control. i did well for a month and a half, and then i got overwhelmed. only a few weeks remain in this semester (in the year!). so it's time to stop talking and start doingmichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-48803299865888834592012-11-08T22:36:00.001-05:002012-11-08T22:36:17.850-05:00because i am very excited about my new <a href="http://www.fitbit.com/" target="new">fitbit</a> and have nothing else to share<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyX3R3GdEi4SIIlPNs0JTu4Yv2mhIc8pAWAHpEqAdqh4IUKj92Hajr1OMi5VYxtNQzgPFxngu29qZn5aav40YIioFP6sxNMs6vzU2d9yXDDSWUpk7QtJ695OxffEj6E89s3gLiNiKM6YY/s1600/fitbit+week1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyX3R3GdEi4SIIlPNs0JTu4Yv2mhIc8pAWAHpEqAdqh4IUKj92Hajr1OMi5VYxtNQzgPFxngu29qZn5aav40YIioFP6sxNMs6vzU2d9yXDDSWUpk7QtJ695OxffEj6E89s3gLiNiKM6YY/s320/fitbit+week1.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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i'm shocked i beat my previous weekly step goal of 20,000. so i bumped it to 35. i climbed the equivalent of 19 floors today, which is one more than the leaning tower of pisa :)<br />
<br />
...damn, i'm boringmichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-71598928619154156522012-10-11T23:51:00.001-04:002012-10-11T23:51:54.090-04:0010.11.12i spent the entire day at my internship. four assessments - two observed, two completed. dr. e knocked them out in 30-45 minutes. my one took an hour and a half; the other just under an hour. then it took me nearly three hours to complete the reports<br />
<br />
do. not. like<br />
<br />
good thing i was already planning to miss class. otherwise, i would have been hella late, and it would've counted as an absence anyway (we have ridiculous attendance policies). i just can't get over that my one took 90 minutes and probably could've gone longer. i did have a pretty good discussion with dr. t though. everyone at the practice is awesome! i'll be doing these assessments every week going forward. i know i'll get better with time/practice, but i definitely need to focus on time management. something to discuss next class :)<br />
<br />
now, back to packing. JP's big day is this weekend!!!michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-74729118416463891232012-10-11T01:01:00.000-04:002012-10-11T01:01:24.444-04:0010.10.12my head is still spinning, but today was WAY better than expected. there are still a few emails to send and docs to review, which i'm working through while talking to jesse (and writing this quickie post)<br />
<br />
- chiro says i'm looking good. will probably discharge on friday as scheduled. woot! plus i still have a ridiculous credit (if i were going to have more visits this year) so all the visits are "free"<br />
<br />
- work situation is in a holding pattern, but task in question may be removed from our plate. i sure as hell hope it is. it would be a cumbersome undertaking, which i'm still adamant shouldn't be ours to manage<br />
<br />
- i'm going to be taking on a new task at my internship. very exciting :) new intakes and new reports to learn. plus there's the boost in my hours, which will be a HUGE help. not super nervous about being short hours, but it's always good to have a cushion just in case<br />
<br />
- found a new counseling practice to try through my insurance. [thanks, corporate, for finally making it clear where to go for that info] gonna call to see if they're accepting new clients. i really want to get counseling again despite the issues with my last therapist<br />
<br />
- i should not have bought this bag of musketeers. they are my favorite, and i've already eaten far too many of them. good thing i only indulge once a year ;)michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-12398462561301969442012-10-09T23:03:00.000-04:002012-10-09T23:03:16.912-04:0010.9.12the last few days have been crazy<br />
<br />
- whirlwind weekend in tucson. bridal shower by the pool. naps & bouquet making. awesome food at rehearsal dinner. beautiful wedding. handful of mishaps. more good food and drinks. harassing the groomsman. fun after party. crazy sleep thanks to jet lag. brunch, booze by the pool and bbq. watching football throughout the day. another breakfast. more lounging by the pool. trip to an historical catholic mission. being a security risk. catching a few minutes of MNF. great conversations and a good movie flying home<br />
<br />
- couldn't really get myself going this morning so i was a bit late to work. missed a meeting scheduled while i was out. cause i was seriously gonna jump on a call at 930 after a four day weekend. found out later that bitch from last week basically ignored my email. shocking. i'm furious and unsure how we proceed, but we sure as hell aren't going to be doing what she asked<br />
<br />
- kinda freaking out schedule-wise. need to address the work issue plus work on my actual work project tomorrow after my chiro appointment. but dr. e just asked me to drop by to sit in on a new intake. so i have to cut my appointment short to meet her midday. meanwhile, i'm supposed to have a client at 6p and need to go to campus to handle some client notes. running up and down the highway when i need to be talking with my coworker and boss really isn't what i wanted to do with my day. at least the mkn stuff i may be able to put off til thursday. though i wanted to get some of that resolved before my next weekend away<br />
<br />
so much for my post mini vacation happinessmichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-60374435951231635082012-10-05T12:49:00.000-04:002012-10-05T12:49:47.130-04:0010.5.12written from the air. pants was nice enough to let me borrow his
netbook for my tucson trip. he may regret this when i buy things from his amazon account MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH<br />
<hr />
<br />
normally, i love to fly. when i was old enough, i flew to visit my grandma every summer. all by myself! thanks to dance and cheerleading, i had a few trips to disney after that. [ever been around when those obnoxious girls were doing cheers during take off? you're welcome] just after college came the cruises out of florida, the trips to see my scattered favorite people and the occasional work training. thanks to these trips, i've offically dubbed CTL the 3rd circle of hell. they really need to get their shit together down there<br />
<br />
most of the time, i still love being in the air. i've even worked out a system for minimizing my wait time to fly out of bwi. i'm no morning person, but i always find myself more pleasant than usual with the airport staff. i even make jokes with tsa staff<br />
<br />
but today<br />
<br />
ugh today<br />
<br />
i swear my seat is small then usual. the guy in front of me won't stop fidgeting violently. the guy behind me keeps vigorously fiddling with the seat pocket. and there is a crying baby. THREE HOURS OF CRYING BABY<br />
<br />
plus i didn't have time to do my back exercises, and my spine is ready to stage an airplane coup<br />
<br />
i hate everything<br />
<hr />
<br />
ps i'm pretty sure this women is going through an over the phone break up while waiting for her flight that's now delayed at least 90 minutes. that guy is a douche, and i hope something nasty happens to himmichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-548977675081085192012-10-05T00:58:00.000-04:002012-10-05T00:58:08.353-04:0010.4.12today has been interesting. i present:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31000000/Come-at-me-bro-rainbow-dash-31030597-500-310.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31000000/Come-at-me-bro-rainbow-dash-31030597-500-310.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">[<a href="http://www.fanpop.com/spots/rainbow-dash/images/31030597/title/come-bro-photo" target="new">via</a>]</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
met with my team member and bossman to discuss some background on a "big" issue that we've been dealing with for two weeks. there's another meeting tomorrow, but i'm gonna be laid over in denver (woohoo!). afterwards, sent a couple emails. one was informational because people don't listen to what i say and don't include me on their ridiculous conversations. i dare you to go against me on my policies and procedures. the second was much more of a smack down disguised as sharing information about former/current practices. a request was made, and since i won't be on the call tomorrow, i can't tell the requester she's been denied at that point. i'm anticipating some yelling on tomorrow's call, but at least bossman will be there to back up my coworker. i got none of me homework done because i spent most of my day dealing with the work bs and talking about office politics with my coworker. so faking my way through class was funtacular. at least i wasn't the only one feeling behind or rundown. whole class seemed to skip this week's reading<br />
<br />
on the positive side, i'll be on a plane to tucson in seven hours. i'm all packed up and ready to go. SO excited for this mini vacation :D now, to sleep!michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-63311055783893654312012-10-03T19:45:00.000-04:002012-10-03T19:45:40.084-04:0010.3.12today turned out pretty well despite the fact i am only still awake by shear force of will<br />
<br />
- closed out a project that should have ended two months ago. i shake my fist at all the people who tried to tell me "i didn't get your email." "i didn't know about this" "i took this, but my record doesn't reflect it and i am too busy to contact support to resolve the issue". stfu, you lazy motherfuckers. but it's done, and my team still thinks i'm awesome<br />
<br />
- picked up my bridesmaid dresses. both look and fit WAY better now, and no one gave me any "oh, honey, you're just too fat" bullshit. they even fixed some of the issues DB refused to acknowledge but i decided to ignore for the sake of my sanity. price wasn't cheap, but the alterations were worth every penny. i'll be taking some pants over there when i have the time<br />
<br />
- had a pretty good meeting with dr. g-c (one on one internship supervision). that man has pretty much figured me out lol. he's not going to fall anytime soon from his perch as my favorite prof. he always makes me think when we chat. that meeting was supposed to be followed by another. our MKN meeting had to be rescheduled so i got to come home, shove a panini in my face and feel calm for an hour<br />
<br />
nothing else of note on my brain. i'm off to play some sudoku before the presidential debate and a chat with my honey :)michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-89317889977926507962012-10-03T03:30:00.001-04:002012-10-03T19:46:51.507-04:0010.2.12clearly, i fail at the whole "get to bed by midnight" thing. at least i've been super productive the whole time. and it's not that i can't sleep, i just haven't crawled into bed yet *sigh*<br />
<br />
- skipped class because i just couldn't mentally make myself get there. instead, i took care of some work things and came home. i had a lovely nap. mental health afternoon = win<br />
<br />
- part of the issue was my freak out over counseling hours. after napping, i sat down and did the math based on my current client load. it's going to be close, but i may actually be ok. just gotta get my clients to show up every damn week :p :)<br />
<br />
- i finished two assignments, relatively, on time. not that my assignments have been late. i'm just working up until the last second cause that's the only way i know how to roll. you'd think after over two decades of being a student i would have learned to work ahead<br />
<br />
- got our business VPN all set up, and i'm pretty sure i have the settings correct. we'll see after i shoot K & N the access info. of course, checking and playing with the tool kept me occupied for a good chunk of time<br />
<br />
- so many emails to respond to and calls to make tomorrow. plus picking up my dresses from the tailor, checking on my hallmark ornaments, meeting with dr. g-c and then meeting K & N. never. ending. busy<br />
<br />
burning my shit at both ends has just become an understatement. good nightmichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-27880736133910895472012-10-02T00:08:00.001-04:002012-10-03T19:51:59.583-04:0010.1.12<br />
this is my 251st post apparently. would be a huge milestone if it weren't for the fact, i practically never post. part of me wonders why i even opened this window. i'm so overwhelmed by things happening in my life, but i can't find the words to organize and attack<br />
<br />
- i have back to back weddings the next two weekends. i'm in both. one's in tucson az; the other in richmond va. lots of travel, hairspray and happy tears are in my near future<br />
<br />
- i have to cram all my homework into the days i'll be in md. i'm behind a couple weeks as it is so i really need to get on top of it all before midterm. i only have one exam, but i also have a bunch of write ups and two pappers as well<br />
<br />
- i have to squeeze clients in during the week since i normally intern fri & sat. i'm already behind in my hours due to cancellations, no shows and some people who aren't fully committed to treatment. i'm trying not to panic though since my supervisor and another therapist keep passing me cases<br />
<br />
- i made an interesting connection between my clients so my supervisor suggested we form a group. he thinks i should lead alone since it'd be focused on women's issues. i need to write up a proposal to present to our clients so i pulled what useful articles i could find. so far we have two interested clients, and i have a lot of extra reading <br />
<br />
- there's a potential for three back to back birthday celebrations at the end of the month. another partially lost weekend means more cramming to get all my shit done. at least i'll get to see jesse for the first time in ages. working weekends + a glitchy laptop = major suckage<br />
<br />
reaching the point where i usually shutdown, but trying my best not to let that happen. too much is riding on this semester. so i need to pull it together now before it's far too late. first step: not staying up til 2am for no damn reason. so, good night :)michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366992595131926031.post-78717772568057086302012-09-06T10:20:00.000-04:002012-09-06T10:20:00.634-04:00wine & love 13so... uh... it's been awhile. this month already seems to be getting away from me, and it hasn't even been a full week. perfect time to recap the crazy, no? [<a href="http://www.walkingwithnora.com/category/wine-and-love" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="new"><img src="http://www.walkingwithnora.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/wineo3-223x300.jpg" /></a><a href="http://www.walkingwithnora.com/" target="new">nora</a> created this concept; <a href="http://superduperfantastic.com/" target="new">suki</a> is currently hosting :)] <br />
<br />
<i>reasons my glass is actually full of jack:</i><br />
<br />
- one of the requirements for my counseling class is counseling two first year students. scheduling the first was easy, but our first session was horrible. plus the recording got fucked up so i couldn't review. scheduling the second has been much harder<br />
<br />
- worrying about getting enough practicum hours. i fucked up, and it could majorly bite me in the ass come time to graduate (as in, i may not get to graduate) :(<br />
<br />
- random pangs of jealousy and sadness. new engagements, tons of weddings, new babies... i'm really <i>really</i> not patient enough for this level of uncertainty in my life, despite what i try to project to the universe and those around me<br />
<br />
<i>reasons my heart is full of love:</i><br />
<br />
- long weekend spent dog sitting. we had our moments, but he's a sweetheart. hanging out with him really makes me want a dog of my own. plus his owners are so awesome; B cracks me up when she checks in<br />
<br />
- short week in the office thanks to the holiday, working from home and my internship. sucks that i'm spending my time filling shred bins as part of the annual file management process. BUT at least i'm not twiddling my thumbs at my desk all day for a change<br />
<br />
- had a great business meeting yesterday. we're shifting some stuff around and getting refocused in different areas. good days ahead :)<br />
<br />
- despite the worry over hours, i have my first real client. i can't wait to <i>do</i> counseling with an <i>actual</i> person with <i>actual</i> problems (not that our students didn't/don't have real problems; we just never go terribly deep since it's only practice)<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://pbs.twimg.com/media/A2C-xapCUAId9DC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://pbs.twimg.com/media/A2C-xapCUAId9DC.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#adorable [<a href="http://nationalaquarium.wordpress.com/2012/09/05/welcome-our-new-baby-sloth/" target="new">source</a>]</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
- new baby sloth at one of my favorite places: national aquarium in baltimore! katey said its head looks like a cartoon kiwi, and now i can't stop seeing it lol<br />
<br />
<b>so what has you reaching for that second glass (in frustration or celebration)?</b>michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14500165198361703056noreply@blogger.com